SOUTH BEND – Dear Q, It’s Jack again. I wrote to you in a column back in August. You didn’t write back. But I’m sure you know about my questions. Your QAnon followers say you know everything, including when The Storm will come to destroy the satanic pedophiles engaging in child-trafficking and child-cannibalizing and controlling our country. They don’t sound very nice.
 
Well, Q, I guess you couldn’t reply because you’ve been really busy. I mean, QAnon was busy getting Marjorie Taylor Greene elected to Congress. She really speaks up, calling 9/11 a hoax and saying that supposed shooting of little kids at Sandy Hook Elementary School was a hoax. She’s a real leader, getting a standing ovation from the House QAnon Caucus. And you relentlessly promote Pizzagate, about Hillary Clinton molesting children in that Washington pizzeria. She shouldn’t do that.
 
You were busy predicting things like an Oct. 17 appearance of John F. Kennedy Jr. at a Trump rally. He was to be named the vice presidential nominee, replacing Mike Pence. Wow! Guess you were for hanging Pence even back then. But JFK Jr. didn’t show up. Must have had other plans that day. Talk about busy, you did a lot of planning for storming the Capitol.
 
Now, some of your followers dare to question your predictions. They worry that you predicted too many times that The Storm was about to hit, with Donald Trump, then president, declaring martial law to bring down the evil cabal of global elites, Hollywood celebrities, Democratic officials and their news media apologists. If you were a TV weather forecaster, you’d lose viewers by so often predicting a big storm that never comes.
 
You always explain why The Storm is delayed. Yet, some of your followers lose faith, turning away from QAnon to embrace instead violent white-supremacist and neo-Nazi militia groups with similar objectives. They even question whether you exist.
 
Yes, Virginia, there is a Q. Maybe you, Q, aren’t just one person. Maybe you’re a group of conspiracy theorists or some profiting entrepreneurs. But your QAnon does exist. You can drive supporters to riot. Still, you didn’t get Trump reelected to fulfill your prophesy that he, in a secret war with the cabal, would bring it down with mass arrests and harsh justice, very harsh. Like gallows.
 
Your followers storming the Capitol were sure that Jan. 6 was The Storm, the big one. They joined with other protesters in killing and injuring cops and ransacking the Capitol. Good start. Alas, they didn’t hang Pence, shoot Nancy Pelosi or stop certification of Joe Biden, the choice of the child traffickers. But wait! The Storm was just delayed. Your faithful believed the prediction that it actually would hit on inauguration day. They expected Biden and other cabal conspirators at his fake ceremony to be hauled away. Trump still president.
 
I’m sure you understand how some QAnon believers were disheartened to see Trump board Air Force One for Florida. But wait! They figured it was a distraction. Trump would zoom back to retain his presidency, no doubt for life. Democracy restored. Trump didn’t return. He wimped out on martial law and a violent coup. And you, Q, are being abandoned by some of your QAnon faithless faithful.
 
But wait! The Storm still could come on inauguration day, the traditional inauguration day, March 4. That was inauguration day throughout most of the nation’s history. Then some fake amendment in 1933 moved it to Jan. 20. So, Q, I hear the prediction now is for The Storm to hit on March 4. Will it hit then to vanquish Biden, restore Trump to power and save those kids in that Washington pizzeria? And maybe JFK Jr. will show up this time to be vice president.
 
Please, Q, write back this time. Sincerely, sort of,
 
Jack 

Colwell has covered Indiana politics over five decades for the South Bend Tribune.